How about this addition to your bike.
It is shown fitted to a pedal cycle but could be adapted for a motorcycle, possibly?
It may deter theft if not a bit of damage.
https://www.facebook.com/DailyDistractionNet/videos/1304450159581268/
Ride on
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
TTR250 but now a mobility scooterBudleigh Salterton
totallyttrs.com
If you don't fall off
your not trying hard enough
Or you could just always use your crash helmet like this bloke did
+=
I really hope thats just mud!